maybe taking back sunday will help

not feeling swell.
i think everyones in a rut.
could be caused all by the same person? or just a chain effect that i caused?

i wish i could be that significant.
to anything
I just want to write.
Write well
write with meaning, a universal meaning thats more than just shallow , ugly, and predictable and NOT spontaneous ha.


I hate everyone-say anything ...said it before me. lol


Soo i hope TBS can help.. in their own little teeny bopper way of the early 2000's..you know you love it

Halloween of Yester-year

Today i confided in a friend of mine about that & he said somethings that im definatly gonna try and heed.
I can definatly say that last years Halloween was the beginning of of a lot of things for me.
I hope that i can surpass on the fun activities that went on last year and broaden my horizons from last year.. from chilling Madison Park

Last year i was a lil ghetto dude, now i dunno what i wanna be.. rosie the riveter is pretty cool..
The halloween has a lot of hoochie clothes and my bust isnt busty enough

I am in sitting in French class..thank God we have a sub and i got on the computers and blogspot isn't blocked.
I looked at Ciro's wonderful pictures . His blog actual goes to good use.

This week is going by too quick and mad deadlines are coming up.
The college process is really annoying and has so many obstacles.
When searching for a college.. you want to try and apply for You dont know if your good enough or if you can afford it or if you can even afford it. Then the scholarships are pains in the asses..they all seem like imposisble scams. Like if you can actually do them then you earned your free money.
Then there are those essays. I just hope that nobody from college admissions reads this..that woud suck

so lets not dwell

people are so awesome.
people who you feel open for..
people who make you feel vunerable.
people who make you want to loose it all because you'd give them everything
and people who just are really good at acting & make you do all of the above

Jacques Brel

I was referred to this guy about a year or two ago and I remember I had heard it and loved it but it like escaped my brain.. then one day i was seriously CRAVING french music and i found it.
Then tonight i just looked it up again && Its only fair and just to share such great music.

CAUTION: ITS IN FRENCH with English subtitles






theres more but theyre hard to find after you leave them because i am not very skilled in French

are you filled with air?

Gallows 10/10

I came home with a fat right lip, swollen left fist, the right side of my back and body is like so sore.
My mom thinks i wasn't where i said I was...
& the only reason why my lip is as busted as it is, is because of my braces.

The show was great.. i was with even greater people. AFI though, omg it was too crowded to stay thru the whole thing. So we went to Peter Pank! =]
..my first time @ Peter Pank too

















too bad i dont have a camera to show u my fat lip- its for the better that i dont lol

i tried to do handstands for youu

October playlist by bibi-bird ? Jimmy Jaan

Shared via AddThis



i realized that i dont get to do much in my life.
This week consisted of: school, tennis, braces apppointments, annoying doctors, even more annoying customer servicemen, college essays, chemistry, bad skin.

What's the first name and last name of the last person who sent you a text message?
Kelley Kousis

When was the last time you last saw the person you fell hardest for?
Feb 20th

When/What was the last thing you went to the doctor for?
when i had throat problems and sounded like lindsay lohan

Do you remember who you liked this time three months ago?
ugh, yes.

Is there anyone in the room with you?
no :)

What's one thing that's been bothering you lately?
money problems

Do you like winter?
if i have the right clothes on sure.

What is one thing you would like to know about your future?
who will i marry?!

Was this New Year's enjoyable?
yeah..i think my favorite day in 2009 was new years

What do the majority of people in your life call you?
Zarina

If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?
sure

How did you and your number 2 become friends?
thru friends.

Have you held hands with anybody in the past week?
i think so

What are you listening to right now?
Incubus

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
yup yup. and people i dont like either

Is there something you should be doing right now?
college essay; chem hw that i didn't even copy

What were you doing at 10:30pm last night?
i was probably on the computer

Do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails?
my tounge and lip

How are you feeling?
sick-dizzy

Is there anything you need to tell somebody?
there is something id like to say to somebody but idk

Last time you laughed?
today in school..im sure

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
that seems to the theme of my teen years

Who is your Celebrity Crush?
any French actor.
I always had a major crush on Billy Crudup and Channing Tatum

Will you be in a relationship next month?
idk..will i? lol

Are you thinking about someone at the moment?
actually i am not =]

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Sangina

How late did you stay up last night and why?
like 12 because i was writing

What was the first thing you thought when you got up?
something along the lines of its cold in here.. what time is it? oh shit i only got 20 minutes.. DAMN I gotta pee

Are you looking forward to anything?
hopefully seeing Cassidy

Do you and your parents get along?
uhmm i kinda have too get along with them they control my life..or so they think they do lol

If Im a Bad Person, you dont like me

right? You're not a judge but if your going to judge me..sentence me to another life.
change is good..its-GOOD. its gooood.

ayoo this paramore album is gonna be up there with their RIOT album.. i know it. Its softter but a bit more powerful.

Shits been feeling cooky.
I dont know if i already had declared this or not.. but my Summer 'person' the person who my summer seemed to be focused around or to whom i feel it focused around was :






this fella right here.


i worked with him, lived with him, got yelled at by him.

lovely.

now hes being a pain.
& september... hmm i guess ill give septemeber to :



love it?




but it had the undertone of some other weasel in the midst but fuck him because i hate him

Depeche Mode said it best..

Home
Here is a song from the wrong side of town
Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound
And it pounds from within and is pinning me down

Here is a page from the emptiest stage
A cage or the heaviest cross ever made
A gauge of the deadliest trap ever laid

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here

The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets
That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet
Well I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong

Feels like home
I should have known
From my first breath

God send the only true friend I call mine
Pretend that I'll make amends the next time
Befriend the glorious end of the line

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here

Useless lyrics

Well it's about time
It's beginning to hurt
Time you made up your mind
Just what is it all worth

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

Watch the clock on the wall
Feel the slowing of time
Hear a voice in the hall
Echoing in my mind

All your stupid ideals
Got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Here I stand the accused
With your fist in my face
Feeling tired and bruised
With the bitterest taste

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

All your stupid ideals
Got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Only When I Lose Myself lyrics

It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralized
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I should not spent my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
Keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me fade & disappear
There's a feeling of content that now you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
Did I need to sell my soul
For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart
In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
That I find my life
I find myself
It's Only When I Lose Myself in someone else
Then I find myself
I find myself

Mercy In You lyrics

You know what I need when my heart bleeds,
I suffer from greed a longing to feed
On the mercy in you.

I can't conceal the way I'm healed,
The pleasure I feel when I have to deal
With the mercy in you.

I would do it all again,
Loose my way and fall again.
Just so I could call again
On the mercy in you, the mercy in you.

When here in my mind I feel inclined
To wrongly treat you unkind -
I have faith I will find
The mercy in you.

I would loose my way again,
Be led hopelessly astray again.
Just so could pray again
For the mercy in you.

When here in my mind I have been blind,
Emotionally behind.
I have faith I will find
The mercy in you.....

Little 15 lyrics

Little 15
You help her forget
The world outside
You're not part of it yet
And if you could drive
You could drive her away
To a happier place
To a happier day
That exists in your mind
And in your smile
She could escape there
Just for a while
Little 15

Little 15
Why take the smooth with the rough
When things run smooth
It's already more than enough
She knows your mind
Is not yet in league
With the rest of the world
And it's little intrigues
Do you understand
Do you know what she means
As time goes by
And when you've seen what she's seen
You will
Little 15

Little 15
Why does she have to defend
Her feelings inside
Why pretend
She's not had a life
A life of near misses
Now all that she wants
Is 3 little wishes
She wants to see with your eyes
She wants to smile with your smile
She wants a nice surprise
Every once in a while
Little 15.