Thursday, January 29, 2009

& im wasting away, away from you

im feeling: meloncholy, dependent, weak, vunerable, scared and at the same time oblivious.


like i cant seem to focus right now. all i want to do is what my "heart" or emotions want me to do.
Im just posting this as hopefully something i can look back on & be like
"wow, that was a low hour"

I hope, pray, wish everything will work out in the end because its all that i can do without making myself feel like such a fool.


here lets play this ASTERIA + A day to remember song because its awesome
[[i may just blog about how much i love song when they do this -- like the slow hardcore bands]]] although i have learned Asteria is no hardcore or heavy band..this song just has us all fooled.


The Taste The Touch - Asteria

So this is it, the feeling that I've missed 
A subtle kind of pain that keeps me from sleep
I try to explain how you touch drives me insane
And I can't spend a night without wishing I was with you

(chorus)
I wanna tell you a secret
And leave it on your lips
Wanna sing it through your body
Wanna tell it through this kiss
If I told you my secret
Would you swear to keep it?
Would you swear to keep it?

Watching you dance and seeing you smile
Still getting butterflies every once in a while
Feelings exist I'm falling
twist on lust
a choice to care
a wish to touch

(Chorus)
I wanna tell you a secret
And leave it on your lips
Wanna sing it through your body
Wanna tell it through this kiss
If I told you my secret
Would you swear to keep it?
Would you swear to keep it?

When you say never I'll say lie
When you say always I'll say true
When you say love I'll say you
I'll say you
I'll say you
I'll say you
I'll say you

(Chorus)
I wanna tell you a secret
And leave it on your lips
Wanna sing it through your body
Wanna tell it through this kiss
If I told you my secret
Would you swear to keep it?




&&this song has brought both me and lauren to tears
Would you swear to keep it?

You Had Me @ Hello - A Day To Remember

I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight
Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise
I know the signs are on and I feel this too
None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you

And I'm wasting away, away from you
And I'm wasting away, away from you

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust
anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello.

I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours
It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by
I watch the clock to make my timing just right

Would it be okay?
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?

And I'm wasting away, away from you.
And I'm wasting away, away from you.

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust
anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies (you are so cute)
at the mailbox (you had me at hello)
[x4]

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust
anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello
You had me at hello
You had me at hello

Monday, January 26, 2009

Afghans Skating=awesome

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/26/sports/othersports/26skate.html?_r=1&th&emc=th


KABUL, Afghanistan — It looked like an ordinary neighborhood playground: six children tumbling off their skateboards to the tune of laughter. But only hours before, just 20 yards away, the body of a suicide car bomber was sprawled beside a glistening pool of blood.

Skip to next paragraph
Tyler Hicks/The New York Times

Oliver Percovich’s current skateboard park is a decrepit concrete fountain. His Skateistan school will be eight miles away.

Afghan youth have learned to recover almost instantly from such routine violence. One person determined to inject some normalcy into their lives is Oliver Percovich. A 34-year-old from Melbourne, Australia, he plans to open this country’s first skateboarding school, Skateistan, this spring. He sees sport as a way to woo students into after-school activities like English and computer classes, which are otherwise reserved for the elite.

“Teenagers are trying to dissociate from old mentalities, and I’m their servant,” Percovich said. “If they weren’t interested, I would’ve left a long time ago.”

Now, when he pulls his motorcycle into a residential courtyard here, a dozen youngsters pounce before it comes to a stop, yanking six chipped skateboards with fading paint off the back. The children, most participating in a sport for the first time in their war-hardened lives, do not want to waste any time.

Their skateboard park is a decrepit Soviet-style concrete fountain with deep fissures. The tangle of novice skaters resembles bumper cars more than X Games.

But Percovich has raised the money needed to build an 8,600-square-foot bubble to house the nonprofit Skateistan complex, and the Kabul Parks Authority has tentatively donated land. He is still waiting for official permission to begin the project. And since a spate of kidnappings and the car bombing in late November, he has reduced his daily sessions at the fountain to once or twice a week.

Among those who look forward to his visits is Maro, an elfin 9-year-old girl who was terrified of skateboarding at first.

“It gives me courage, and once I start skating, I completely forget about my fears,” she said.

All the children spoke through an interpreter.

Maro’s glittery Mickey Mouse shirt indicated middle-class status. She stood out from the street children in muddied clothes who shared the skate space. Because the sport is so new and unusual here, Percovich said, it may help mend the nation’s deep social and ethnic divisions.

But for Hadisa, a 10-year-old girl from a conservative family, skateboarding has not been accepted. She said two older brothers beat her with wires for skating with poorer children in September. Several friends said they had seen blood flowing from her leg.

“I’m not upset with my brothers for beating me,” Hadisa whispered on a recent day when she did not skate because her oldest brother was nearby. “They have the right.”

But some girls cannot skate enough because their window for participation is short. When Afghan girls reach puberty, they must be veiled and can no longer associate with men outside the family. Percovich said his indoor skate park could be part of the solution, with boys and girls in separate classes.

“If my family doesn’t let me skate when I grow up, and they tell me I need to be at home, then I have to respect my family,” Maro said. “And I won’t be able to skate.”

Maro’s grandfather, Abdul Hai Muram, a retired political commentator, stroked her ponytail as he considered her future. He said he wanted her to be able to play outside when she turned 15 but worried about society’s reaction.

“Families are still careful and thoughtful about letting their daughters out,” Muram, 65, said. “We’re entitled to be very strict and afraid because negative consequences from the Taliban time are still out there, and men do whatever they want to women.”

He added, “It may take 10 years for things to be normal for women.”

Perhaps no one is more excited for the skateboard park than Mirwais, a 16-year-old boy who can do an ollie, an aerial trick that is the foundation for more advanced moves. Mirwais, who dropped out of school after second grade, first noticed the skate sessions from an adjacent parking lot, where he washed cars for $4 a day to support his family of eight. Percovich said Mirwais was often high from sniffing glue.

Now Mirwais looks more tidy and earns $8 a day working for the Skateistan project, repairing boards, running errands and assisting at the informal skate sessions.

“I want to improve as much as I can, and continue to support my family with skating,” he said. “It’s my future.”

Still, many middle- and upper-class youngsters complain that Mirwais ridicules them using foul language, evidence of the challenge with mixing social classes and ethnic groups here.


But Percovich is determined to overcome the obstacles. He arrived here rather impulsively in early 2007 because his girlfriend at the time had taken a job in Kabul. He gave up his bakery business, stuffed some clothes — and his skateboards — into a bag and left Australia.

Skip to next paragraph
Tyler Hicks/The New York Times

“It gives me courage, and once I start skating, I completely forget about my fears,” one girl said.

Unable to find work, Percovich did what he has done since he was 6. He rode his skateboard, undaunted by the military convoys, pushcarts, donkeys, a suffocating film of dust and occasional car bombings.

“Whenever I turned up, kids gathered around and asked, ‘What is that?’ ” he said, referring to his skateboard. “They’d ask to have a go, and I realized quite fast it’s an excellent way to interact with youth.”

Afghanistan has the highest proportion of school-age children in the world, 1 in 5, according to the United Nations. For a vast majority of these seven million youngsters, sports are virtually nonexistent.

Most public schools, stretched to provide basic materials like desks, do not have playgrounds. Boys play pickup soccer or volleyball games on dusty fields. But sports are an afterthought for most girls, who are discouraged from public gatherings.

About 20 embassies and nongovernmental organizations rejected Percovich’s financing proposal for a skateboarding school. After breaking up with his girlfriend, he said, he was down to $1,500 and had maxed out his credit card to pay the rent.

“I was banging my head against the wall, saying, ‘What am I doing with no money?’ ” Percovich said. “But in the afternoon, I was laughing and skating with kids running toward me saying, ‘Oli, Oli, Oli.’ ”

Even his successes have been somewhat frustrating. Last March, an Australian retailer donated 30 skate sets — including boards, shoes and body pads — but Percovich could not afford the $5,000 for shipping. The equipment remains in Melbourne.

Percovich’s break came last October, when the Canadian, Norwegian and German governments pledged a combined $120,000. The Kabul Parks Authority chose a site in a poor area of the city, about eight miles from the fountain.

Andreas Schüetzenberger, whose German company, IOU Ramps, has built 300 skate ramps in places like Israel and Mongolia, plans to install the platforms at no cost once Skateistan is built.

Percovich also recruited Titus Dittman, who delivered one ton of secondhand skate equipment this month. In 1982, Dittman transformed a parking lot in Germany into one of the world’s most well-known cult skate scenes, Monster Mastership, which has since become the World Skateboarding Championships.

The goals for Skateistan are a bit more grounded.

“Afghan kids are the same as kids all over the world,” Percovich said. “They just haven’t been given the same opportunities. They need a positive environment to do positive things for Afghanistan and for themselves.”

Sunday, January 18, 2009

i just saved 50% on my BABY OSTRICH

Thank you so much Lauren.
After doing some .. unspoken acts.. when Lauren came over she showed me this.


Said it reminded her of Gina and I.
I told Gina && after laughing and confessing her hate [not really] for Lauren, i think she agreed.






these boys had me at:

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Chelsea Smile-BMTH

Ive been waiting for this video since the first phrase in this song:

"I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know."

BMTH Bring Me The Horizon - Chelsea Smile Official Video!



The oroginal and MSUIC version of the song actually clocks in at about 5 minutes (and :3 seconds) but this version is like 4:17 [if im correct] The video isn't too baad and it is a lengthy song and each time i watch the video it like ends up skipping and becoming retarted so i havent seen it PERFECTCLY. and it always gets all slow at my favorite parts when it breaks down.
I hope that it doesn't do that on your computer.


note: THE GREEN drum kit that the drummer has. OMG i love the way it looks!!!

and i'd never realized that i'd come to say this but: for once im happy to not have to watch a music video or a music video with a house party where girls end up kissing.
At least the English don't exploit that.


Bring Me The Horizon is amazing... one of the bands that i am very hesistant to see live on the fact that I KNOW THAT CROWD WILL BE CRAZY.

BbUT THEY'RE ON THE Taste of Chaos-- so check 'em out.. i just miight. if im lucky


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Chips Ahoy!

Ive been feeling terrible.

&& I Chips Ahoy! at night with Gina helps... A LOT






















although me and Aaron agreed that Chips Ahoy! Chewy kicks way more ass















This song really just sums it up how im feeling.

Your Way With Words Is Through Silence! - A Day To Remember


If actions spoke louder than words, you'd have made me deaf by now
You make it seem so easy to love me for who I really am, am.

It'd break my heart, if we fell apart.
It'd be so hard to let you go
It'd break my heart, if we fell apart.
It'd be so hard to watch you go

So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)
So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)

It's so crazy how it'd make my week just to hear them mention your name

Is it so hard to understand how you've got me right in the palm of your hand?

It'd break my heart, if we fell apart.
It'd be so hard to let you go
It'd break my heart, if we fell apart.
It'd be so hard to watch you go

So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)
So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)

You're first and foremost, you're always on my mind
Through the songs that I'll sing I'll give you my heart
You're first and foremost, you're always on my mind
Through the songs that I'll sing I'll give you my heart


So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor
So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor

So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)
So let's not dwell on all those things we should of said
As piece by piece I can pick you up off of my floor (off my floor)

(My floor.
My floor.
My floor.
My floor)

Monday, January 5, 2009

Intervention on A&E




it makes me feel all fuzzy inside with laughter



















she was my fav.





































but those alcoholics are soo annoying..


and the builmics are interesting..

i havent seen any heroine addicts in a while

they never SHOW


THISSS


I hope no one gets offended..its just my opinion


























Mondays @ 9pm on A&E
[[i should get paid for this]]

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Safe Ride- Cute is what we aim for

--- i tried to get the song.. but Imeem or Blogspot, one of those places are being retarted


No one is harder on me than myself
Or so it seems
And some say that you are my curse, my own worst enemy
I think they're wrong


I never thought our life could be like this
I never thought...

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything and more
When you call my name

I thought "No one is smarter than me,
No I don't need anyone's help"
Or so it seems (I was so wrong)

You've changed me for the good
They never understood
But even if they tried I doubt they could
So take my nervous hands
Then we could take a stand
We don't have to live by their demands, yea

I never thought life could be like this
I never thought...

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything and more
When you call my name

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything and more
When you call my name

When I'm with you there's no worries
When I'm with you there's no shame
When I'm with you I'm secure
Which usually begins the grain

They could say we lack the progress
They could say that we're a mess
They could say we'll never make it
I know we're better than their test
And I don't hear them anyway

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything
When you call my name

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything everything everything everything everything and more

I'll be your safe ride home when you call me
I'll be everything and more
When you call my name