My Man- Billie Holiday

Ive always heard about Billie Holiday through books, songs, movies and whatever outlet there is.
Shes rather known.
I had also always wondered if Billie Holiday was in fact a girl or a boy. Being that she was from so long ago and i the gender identities were always very particular, girls with girl names and boys with boy names.
So one day someone was telling me how they had been listenning to Ms. Holiday for a while now and i he was ever so kind of clear up the questions whether Billie was a girl or a boy && laugh at me for asking.

Moreover, I ended up googling Billie Holiday && learned a bunch via Wikepedia [click for info]

And then youtubing her ANDD have i found the saddest most addictive song ever!

Ive heard other versions of this song. I have one on my myspace, which im about to delete because its not as good as this youtube.
Just watch this youtube and tell me if you dont want to cry and cant feel her pain.




It cost me a lot
But theres one thing that Ive got
Its my man
Its my man

Cold or wet
Tired, you bet
All of this Ill soon forget
With my man

Hes not much on looks
Hes no hero out of books
But I love him
Yes, I love him

Two or three girls
Has he
That he likes as well as me
But I love him

I dont know why I should
He isnt true
He beats me, too
What can I do?

Oh, my man, I love him so
Hell never know
All my life is just a spare
But I dont care
When he takes me in his arms
The world is bright
All right

Whats the difference if I say
Ill go away
When I know Ill come back
On my knees someday

For whatever my man is
Im his forevermore



after listenning to this song.. at nighttime on occasion i get real close to my sisters ear and i say "MYY MAAAANNNN"
it makes good times. haha


&& studio version

My Man - Billie Holiday

this song is too beautiful for me not to share.
its songs like this that make me wish i had a good singing voice because i would sing the shit out of this song. but now im just left butchering it.

let me know your thoughts on this song.

[and i remember religiously listening to this song when i had swimming]

Penelope - Saosin

Oh Penelope
Are you filled with air
Swallowed oxygen
That makes you float up?
Is it Dropsy?
Will your lungs swell?
It’s depressing me
To see you struggle

Oh Penelope
Are you filled with air
Swallowed oxygen
That makes you float up?
Is it Dropsy?
Will your lungs swell?

It’s depressing me
To see you struggle
I’m treading water with my oars
Glass galeons anchored, oceans floor
I’m diving down with all my gear
In search of treasure, para mi corazon

Take you to the forest
Let you feel the raindrops falling down
Seeping through your redscales
Eliminate the faucet
Eliminate the need for water
Replace it with a safe shell

Don’t wanna see you floating upside down
On the top of the bowl when I
Come round to visit you
Don’t wanna see you floating upside down

No girl
Need you there, Need you there, Need you there
Ooh Release that air
(I’m treading water with my oars
Glass galeons anchored, oceans floor
I’m diving down with all my gear
In search of treasure, para mi corazon)

Take you to the forest
Let you feel the raindrops falling down
Seeping through your redscales
Eliminate the faucet
Eliminate the need for water
Replace it with a safe shell
If they summon the rains now,
Are you gonna rise?

If they summon the rains now,
Are you gonna rise?

Spinnerette && some Brody Dalle

Spinnerette -


its a remix. but all together good stuff.

my hero::

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It Always the Disturbing Songs

Today i was i doing my french homework and when i do homework i like to have music playing and if im lucky i get into the groove where i can sing and get in a trance or rhythm of getting the work done [correctly]. Today when i was fortunate enough to have this happen to me. Andd a among my many songs in the massive storage that is called an iPod. A song called Slide by the Dresden Dolls came up and this song is not the happiest and my favorite or at least the kind of songs i like to blast on a daily basis while washing my face or sitting on the bus on my way to school. Normally i like to skip this song and wait for some other time. but today i was like
"hey, let me just listen to it because im not in the best of mind-states and this song is just all kind s of sad and tackling them BIG issues that is more than myself"

and so i was listenning to it and since i knew much of the lyrics i was singing to it and while i was i just got quiet and realized the frankness of the song. How detailed it is. I never understood Amanda Palmers' writing style because she covers just a broad bunch of topics that sometimes you arent sure if its truth or fiction but she is just not scared to go there.
What im trying to get at is..songs like this and others that i have been listenning to in the passed couple months that i can remember that briefly touch base with sexual abuse, rape, hidden asexual assault and all that jazz, i dont know why but it somehow FOR some reason it hurts me.
LOL stupid i know. Im not here to talk about my experiences with anything or Not.. and its not that i dont care about anyone elses experience its just its not the place or the time and if you can feel like you have had an experience similiar to what is being portrayed in the songs, maybe you should do something about it.-- idk just a thought.
Because truth or not these kinds of experiences have ruined many peoples lives and happens to lots of people today and in the past. Theres just so much Dr. Phil someone can watch or so much you can read about this stuff or even hear about cases or stories about it before you wonder.. woww this is crazy, cruel, and unfair.

Slide - The Dresden Dolls

a late april day and it's sunny outside
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
and an an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her for a ride
as she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles
pennies crash down from the sky
and he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe
and of course it is a lie
she's a third the down and her skirts are yanked up
and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle
but her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider
her hair growing long and her hips getting larger
past getting brighter
light growing weaker....
she is halfway down now but the man is impatient
shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming...
she's coming...
she's coming...

who are you blaming?
they're just playing!
that's a good one...
who left the playground
a good decade before the bell rang?

as she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer
the splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it
the pennies were loaded and as they exploded
she starts to spin out of control...
her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling
up past her head and her veins are all showing
not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on
one old man who's laughing...
who's laughing....
who's laughing....
dont' worry
i've got you
don't worry
i've got you
don't worry
i've got you
don't worry
i've got you

the orangeman got you.....

a late april day and it's sunny outside
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide
and an an orange old man at the bottom
wants to take her for a ride

Kristy, Are You Doing OK? - The Offspring

There’s a moment in time
And it’s stuck in my mind
Way back, when we were just kids

Cause your eyes told the tale
Of an act of betrayal
I knew that somebody did

Oh, waves of time
Seem to wash away
The scenes of our crimes
But for you this never ends

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Though the marks on your dress
Had been neatly repressed
I knew that something was wrong
And I should have spoke out
And I’m so sorry now
I didn’t know
Cause we were so young

Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Oh, clouds of time
Seem to rain on
Innocence left behind
And it never goes away
It never goes away

Can you stay strong?
Can you go on?
Kristy are you doing okay?
A rose that won’t bloom
Winter’s kept you
Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

Don’t waste your whole life trying
To get back what was taken away

The Calendar Hung Itself - Bright Eyes

Does he kiss your eyelids in the morning when you start to raise your head?
And does he sing to you incessantly from the space between your bed and wall?
Does he walk around all day at school with his feet inside your shoes?
Looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you.

Oh does he know that place below your neck that is your favorite to be touched,
and does he cry through broken sentences that I love you far too much?
Does he lay awake listening to your breath?
Worried you smoke too many cigarettes.

Is he coughing now, on a bathroom floor?
For every speck of tile there's a thousand more,
you won’t ever see.
but you must hold inside yourself eternally.

Well I drug your ghost across the country and we plotted out my death.
In every city, memories would whisper, Here is where you rest.
I was determined in Chicago but I dug my teeth into my knees,
and I settled for a telephone and sang into your machine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her.
She had eyes bright enough to burn me. They reminded me of yours.
And In a story told she was a little girl in a red-rouge, sun-bruised field
and there were rows of ripe tomatoes where a secret was concealed.

And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry’s end
where I wrote,
You make me happy
oh when skies are gray.
You make me happy oh when skies are gray, and gray, and gray.

Well the clock’s heart it hangs inside its open chest
with its hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself
but I will not weep for those dying days.
For all the ones who've left there's a few that stayed.
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.



&&THE SICKEST/saddest offf alll the songs..

Lonesome Organist Rapes Page-Turner (Album Version) - The Dresden Dolls

He told me that I knew what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back so I could know for certain
So on the bench I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "O darling, you're charming
Please don't find it alarming if I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting"

Now there there
I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened

So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding"

Don't be scared
I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened

This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding

He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages
Fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child I believed it
And golly who would had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential

Don't be sad
I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"

Some Alkaline Trio [love]

A few angsty songs that i feel everyone should hear from none other than Alkaline Trio
-radio-
Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm making my plans for revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'd drive straight off the edge

Taking your own life with boredom,
I'm taking my own life with wine -
it helps you to rule out the sorrow,
it helps me to empty my mind
Making the most of a bad time
I'm smoking the brains from my head
Leaving the coal calling the kettle black and orange and red
This kettle is seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Shaking like a dog shittin' razorblades,
waking up next to nothing after dreaming of you and me
I'm waking up all alone, waking up so relieved
while you're taking your time with apologies,
I'm planning out my revenge
Red eyes on orange horizons
If Columbus was wrong I'd drive straight off the edge
I'm seeing red

I've got a big fat fuckin' bone to pick with you my darling
In case you haven't heard I'm sick and tired of trying
I wish you would take my radio to bathe with you,
plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall
Plugged in and ready to fall

Plugged in and ready to fall

Radio - Alkaline Trio

-goodbye forever-
Take your wings outside, you can't fly in here
Besides, a purple sky is better soaring for you my angel
You're angel, you little devil
As for me I'll stay inside
I'll be just fine and I'll watch from the window.

Cannot categorize the nature of this sickness
a miracle that you're alive-
Stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple.
Remember last april when we saw u.s. maple?
Somehow the singer showed the fireside exactly how i feel.

And we say goodbye, and go underground
Or up towards the sky, up in smoke, burnt down to size.
At least we're still friends.
At least we're still alive.

Take your wings outside,
No use for them in here.
Bad luck to open inside, work like umbrellas, like a broken mirror.
It's getting clearer-
The end is closer than ever before and you'll want nothing more
Then your head hits the floor, and you're lost in the darkness.

And we say goodbye and go underground.
Or up towards the sky,
Up in smoke, burnt down to size.
At least we're still friends.
At least we're still alive.

And we say goodbye and go underground.
Or up towards the sky,
Up in smoke, burnt down to size.
At least we're still friends.
At least we're still alive.

Goodbye Forever - Alkaline Trio





cann you get the hint that im feel a little shitty??-- but at least we're alive. =]


&& Matt Skiba solo

Good Fucking Bye - Matt Skiba

So you broke down, trying to leave town
I broke down crying on your return
You left me feeling hopefull
I'll never see your face again
You made for a bad lover's liver
You stole all the covers and busted my head
You made me such an asshole
I wish we'd never met
I'm tired of being bored
I'm through with the headaches
Hiding my hands that tremble like earthquakes
Under the table, under the daytime sky
Good Fucking Bye

And when you lose hope
It's hard to cope
Watching the tyranny with sober eyes
The daybreak and sunset
All hours in between are spent murdering time
You made for a bad lover's liver
You stole all the covers and fucked up my head
You made me such an asshole
I wish we'd never met
I'm tired of being bored
I'm through with the headaches
Hiding my hands that tremble like earthquakes
Under the table, under the daytime sky
Good Fucking Bye
Good Fucking Bye
Good Fucking Bye