Jimmy Johnson says that STD's are hip, like keychains

..i should really try to let my eyebrows get a little thicker if my habit of picking at them will persist. They get so thin & on 1 side especially

I want to draw you a floorplan of my head and<3.

I want to draw you a floorplan of my head and heart. I want to give directions how it forgives. What you'll be looking for.
[floorplan- tegan&sara]

::edit::

Floorplan - Tegan And Sara

I want to draw you a floorplan
Of my head and heart
I want to give directions
helpful hints

What you'll be looking for
What you'll be looking for

I know I'll hold this loss in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
I know I'll hold this loss in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold

All eyes are on me now
All eyes are on me now

I want your lungs to stop working without me
I think about writing you
I thought about calling you
What was I looking for
What am I looking for

I know I'll hold this pain in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold
I know I'll hold this pain in my heart forever
I know I'll hold, I'll hold

All eyes are on you now
All eyes are on you now

I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure

All eyes are on me now

I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure
I shouldn't go
But I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure

I shouldn't go when I feel this building
I shouldn't go when I feel this building
I shouldn't go but I can't really help it
When I feel this pressure

Ranting about my mothers contradiction

My whole teenage life Ive advised not to talk to Afghan boys. Which means that I dont converse with peers too much & now my mom wants me to call some random ppl and talk to some girl to get her address.. I think i have the right to bitch about it a little. But when she brings up my friends for no fucking reason i say: fuck that! I dont have to do anything & if i really have to ill go down with rudeness blazing

a little dream that stuck in my head long enough

Last night i had two dreams. The 1st dream i dreampt that my mom had another little baby and & it was so cute, we were also not living at home.2nd dream was that this boy in my auto class, jeremy k, sangina and i ran away from our auto teacher

A diva is a female version of a hustler ("hussala")

"i thought she was perfect, she thought I was perfect too. Perfect until she found someone new"
Plain White T's [Take me away]

Feeling really shitty and cynical and clinically depressed about college plans. Its almost as though instead of having an arranged marriage I have this. Le sigh

even my dreams are telling me to move on

::EDIT::

















+ =




Before bed last night I had turkey Banquet(tv dinner)& cookie dough icecream& still managed to fall asleep but dude that shit gave me the most restless and best slumber Ive had in a while. I feel as though all the sugar I had was making my dreams more of "smell the coffee" and just the kind of dream i wish i could have the privledge and fortune i could have in reality. Of course thinking back it was weird but I feel as though I have pychie closure on something thats been bothering me

Hot Revolver- Lil Wayne

Im going to say this right now because I'm someone who really has a lot say about anything and everything especially when it comes to music [& baseball lol]. But I gotta say, I am not complaining or have anything bad to say about Lil Wayne's move of getting into the "rock" thing. He's just really mastered, in my opinion, and owned the hip hop community and now that she has an electrice guitar feels as though he has something that the "rock community" wants. It amuses me because to me I dont think there is much of a rock community anymore just an underground, more indie scene. If anything he is going for the pop rock genre and its catchy as shit.

Hot Revolver - Lil Wayne


Young mullah, baby
Umm, young mullah, baby

She says, do you have the time
To listen to me whine
She askin' who's on the other line?
You diss me every time

I tell 'em, baby I'm a star
Shit, I'm above a star
And now I done got so high
I did forgotten who you are
(Are, are)

Oh oh oh, ah, oh oh eh eh
Ah ah
Oh oh oh, ah, oh oh eh eh
Oh oh oh, ah, oh oh eh eh
Ah ah

I'm in love with you
But I can't be with you
Tomorrow I'll be back
Up on the first flight
Right up out of town

Young mullah, baby

Hop back in my spaceship
Girl, I gotta drop your ass off
(Oh oh eh eh)

Last night, yeah we were spaced girl
You love it, girl, I gotta take off
(Oh oh eh eh)
'Cause Imma be here next week
So call your company and take off
Oh oh oh, yeah oh oh eh

'Cause she say, "Wayne, Wayne"
So she got me all impatient
Cry me a river
I can hear my conscious
While I say aloud

Boy, you got a problem
(Problem)
And you ain't foolin' no one
But yourself

You're like a hot revolver
(Hot revolver)
But you ain't killin' no one
But yourself

And so she's gone to party town
On her own
And you go by yourself
So all alone

I told her, I can be with her
But I can't be with her
As much as she like me to
She like me too much
That's the problem

Oh my God, then Shorty be whillin'
And when I say I got to leave
You wouldn't believe
All of the things that she'll do
And all of the things
That she'll say to make me stay
And I be like, 'Damn'

I'll be back someday
But she wanna go with me
To outer space
So we made love in the Milky Way
And then I send her on her way

Boy, you got a problem
(Problem)
And you ain't foolin' no one
But yourself

You're like a hot revolver
But you ain't killin' no one
But yourself

And so she's gone to party town
On her own
And you go by yourself
So all alone

A quarter through 2009-quickie report

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend

4 months have already passed in 2009. A year that started off so much fun and completely sorta hopeful.
Im not sure if its the age or the year or just so happen to be like this but this year I believe has given me such a tough skin and a complete disapoint in many people. I keep finding my self having a highlight or having my month revolve around certain people each month. People who i really am kind of not planning to disclose over the internet. These people all sort of make and utlimatly break my month. I know i shouldn't rely on other but i realize that I do and Im really subconciously reliant on lots of people. With May approaching I am kind of of scared that no one will end up turning up. But even if there isn't I guess thats the month Ill be on best friend. Which helps to sum up the lyrics on top courtesy of Bright Eyes and Conor Oberst with his amazing ways of describing things.

one day..

One day I wont be my worst enemy.
One day, when im not my worst enemy i will be comfortable with myself.
The day that i am comfortable with myself i will be able to breathe better, to see better, to feel better.
When i feel better my i's will become I's and things won't feel as sad.
Less sadness could only mean more happiness.

With my own personal happiness flowing in i can better the people around me.
Better people around me then I'd be helping the world.

hmm one day... i will need a companion.
One day when karma will be on my side and i will be able to get something real and true.

One day i may even be able to write something REAL more real than what i long for in another person.