& the question is: Was a more alive than I am now.
I happily have to disagree.
I laugh more often now
I cry more often now.
I used to feel as though those lyrics applied to me.
But right now i dont.
But its ok, because everything should be ok.
Right?
Is it wrong to be hopeful?
Maybe because im having a cute hair day things feel ok.
heres my horoscope for today [which hasnt been really wrong]
Be on the lookout today, It's easy for everyone to get too wound up in their feelings and you could find yourself caught up in more dramas than you ever anticipated when you woke up this morning. Diminishing returns can tire everyone out, turn hope to disappointment, and cause general confusion today, so if it looks like it's a loss to start out with let it go!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Warped 09.
..dont let it pass you by!
I hope i dont let it pass me!..its not that far off. I need to get my tixx by tomorow.
I think i may take the train but I honestly dont know. Tomorow Im gonna remind my parents about it & gonna give Wazina a call.
Last year Wazina couldn't come because it was on like a monday or something. So Adam volunteered as though he needed to or something..I dont really know.. but he spent the day just drinking in the sun & made us leave somewhat thru it.
This year I hope that I will have my license so it may be better but 1 con amongst all the PROS is that its not in Old Bridge this year. But today Jimmy Johnson told me he passed by it and its like 30 minutes by train. Mass transits never too bad of an idea. Especially when its somewhere we dont know the backtrails and shit of.
I hope that i won't be forced to come home early this year. The line up is soooooooo amazing it could only NOT be in Old Bridge.
- A Day To Remember
- A Love Like Pi
- A Skylit Drive
- Aiden
- Alamance
- Alana Grace
- Alexisonfire
- All Time Low
- Anti-Flag
- Attack Attack
- Bad Religion
- Bayside
- Big D and the Kids Table
- Black Tide
- Breathe Carolina
- brokeNCYDE
- Chiodos
- Dance Gavin Dance
- Dear And The Headlights
- Dirty Heads
- Dr Madd Vibe Experiment
- Escape The Fate
- Flogging Molly
- Gallows
- Hit The Lights
- HTM
- I Set My Friends On Fire
- ice nine kills
- In This Moment
- InnerPartySystem
- Ionia
- Jeffree Star
- Less Than Jake
- LIGHTS
- Longway
- Madina Lake
- Meg and Dia
- Middle Finger Salute
- Millionaires
- Monty Are I
- NOFX
- P.O.S.
- Pull The Pin
- Saosin
- Scary Kids Scaring Kids
- Senses Fail
- Settings
- Shad
- Shooter Jennings
- Sing It Loud
- Streetlight Manifesto
- Switchblade Killers
- TAT
- The A.K.A.s
- The Architects
- The Blackout
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Maine
- The White Tie Affair
- There For Tomorrow
- Therefore I Am
- TV/TV
- Underoath
- VersaEmerge
- Walk Off The Earth
- Westbound Train
that the most amaing list of bands ever
Friday, June 26, 2009
Going no where fast
im super upset.
all i can put into words is that my parents are so controling and see things in the craziest of perspectives. Their logic makes no sense and it makes no sense to me. I cant do anything or go anywhere.
Its like they expect me to be their only happiness.
Its not my job. i want out.
all i can put into words is that my parents are so controling and see things in the craziest of perspectives. Their logic makes no sense and it makes no sense to me. I cant do anything or go anywhere.
Its like they expect me to be their only happiness.
Its not my job. i want out.
Monday, June 22, 2009
FREEZE: 9/22/09
- tomorow is the last day of school! I have my auto and french final.
OMG the French final, i know is going to be like the longest and worse one! Because i havent studied and i barely prepped for it. I just have no motiviation or care for it..although i want to do well. For the other Finals i had taken i was thinking about seeing Sheila the whole time & thats quite strenuous thinking and dreaming on my part since i dont want to jinx it for myself but i just cant help but wonder about what the next three somewhat vacant months may bring me or what may happen.
-- so yeah tomorow LAST day-- i can say so much about this school year. But im gonna leave it at this was the year that i realized that i have control over my life yet I dont.
- Today i was praying and really just in the zone and out of nowhere i was like "dude, i should go and volunteer at the mosque in the Harbor over the summer!
But the mosque.. why not try and find out and just go. It'll be good deeds and a different experience plus, ill get to go to the Harbor!
I hope my parents are gonna be somewhat enocuraging and not give me a lecture about it.. ugh just thinking about it discourages me.
- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN IRAN? i feel as if this thing has been blown out of proportion and escalated to levels where a revolution is quite inevitable at this point. Iran wasn't really due for a revolution especially with their state with the Americans and everything. Who knows what irrational happenings may occur, I just wish that things turn out of the better--SOON. And i cant help but wonder how much the American government in some ways help escalate the whole voter count conspiracy.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Today was technically the last day of school. uhh good fuckin' riddance I cant wait till it is offically done. I hope that I made the decent amount of acquaintences for the summer. I hope the summer doesn't go by too quick. I dont want to keep talking about the summer because then ill vision it & ive come to kind of learn that if i visions arent very good to me. haha
So today I was looking at some Less Than Jake songs because i always kind of liked them but never REALLY got to love them. I downloaded the song "The Science of Selling Yourself Short" because their sound in that song is just my favorite. So I contacted my "boi"Jimmy Johnson and he suggested: The Science of Selling yourself Short; All my BFF's are Metal Heads && The Rest of my Life.
Let me sharee and hopefully you can see what i see in them.
Less Than Jake - The Science of Selling Yourself Short
I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,
[Chorus:]
I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy
I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so over dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy
[Chorus]
Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway
[Chorus]
I'm my own worst enemy [x5]
you dont hear this part in the video
(VOICE OVER (this is a fair request and i promise i will not
judge any person only as a teenager.
if you will constantly remind
yourself that some of my generation
judges people by their race, their belief, or the
coulor of their skin
and that this is no more right than saying all teenagers
are drunken dope addicts or glue sniffers)
Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you (x2)
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
Yet all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow
Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did you take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound (x2)
paranoid of every sound (x2)
I fell asleep last Saturday
Underneath polluted skies
I walked alone on those Jersey nights, and I
Saw the boardwalk start to fall
The emptiness starts to drown
The quiet corners of this town, and I...
Late last night, I made my plans
It was the only thing I felt I could do
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there's no one left to tell you the truth
It's gonna kill me... The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life
This is my all time low
Somehow it feels so familiar
Somehow it seems so familiar
I feel like letting go
And every second that goes by
I'm screaming out for a second try
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there's no one left to tell me the truth
It's gonna kill me... The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
I've got to live with them rest of my life
This is the mess I've made
These are the words I can't erase
This is my life support, shutting down, for the final time
And it twists like a blade
And kills me for the rest of my life
If you won't forgive me
The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life...
So today I was looking at some Less Than Jake songs because i always kind of liked them but never REALLY got to love them. I downloaded the song "The Science of Selling Yourself Short" because their sound in that song is just my favorite. So I contacted my "boi"Jimmy Johnson and he suggested: The Science of Selling yourself Short; All my BFF's are Metal Heads && The Rest of my Life.
Let me sharee and hopefully you can see what i see in them.
Less Than Jake - The Science of Selling Yourself Short
I've come to my senses,
That I've become senseless,
I could give you lessons on how to ruin your friendships,
Every last conviction, I smoked them all away,
I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
Someone so tired of their routines and disappearing self-esteems,
[Chorus:]
I'll sing along,
Yeah with every emergency,
Just sing along,
I'm the king of catastrophies,
I'm so far gone,
That deep down inside I think it's fine by me,
I'm my own worst enemy
I could be an expert on co-dependency,
I could write the best book on underage tragedy,
I've been spending my time at the local liquor store,
I've been sleeping nightly on my best friends kitchen floor,
So I sit and wait and wonder,
"Does anyone else feel like me?"
I'm so over dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy
[Chorus]
Let the meaning slip away
Lost my faith in another day,
Self deprication seems okay,
I never thought I'd make it anyway
[Chorus]
I'm my own worst enemy [x5]
you dont hear this part in the video
(VOICE OVER (this is a fair request and i promise i will not
judge any person only as a teenager.
if you will constantly remind
yourself that some of my generation
judges people by their race, their belief, or the
coulor of their skin
and that this is no more right than saying all teenagers
are drunken dope addicts or glue sniffers)
Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you (x2)
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
Yet all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow
Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow
Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did you take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?
Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound (x2)
paranoid of every sound (x2)
I fell asleep last Saturday
Underneath polluted skies
I walked alone on those Jersey nights, and I
Saw the boardwalk start to fall
The emptiness starts to drown
The quiet corners of this town, and I...
Late last night, I made my plans
It was the only thing I felt I could do
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there's no one left to tell you the truth
It's gonna kill me... The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life
This is my all time low
Somehow it feels so familiar
Somehow it seems so familiar
I feel like letting go
And every second that goes by
I'm screaming out for a second try
Said goodbye, to my best friend
Sometimes there's no one left to tell me the truth
It's gonna kill me... The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
I've got to live with them rest of my life
This is the mess I've made
These are the words I can't erase
This is my life support, shutting down, for the final time
And it twists like a blade
And kills me for the rest of my life
If you won't forgive me
The rest of my life
Let me apologize while I'm still alive
I know it's hard to face all of my past mistakes
It's gonna kill me for the rest of my life...
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